Rogue (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
backwaterbelle) wrote2024-07-31 10:30 am
backwaterbelle) wrote2024-07-31 10:30 am
Entry tags:
duplicity | ic inbox
text | email | voicemail | action
"You got Rogue. Keep it short and sweet."
text | email | voicemail | action
"You got Rogue. Keep it short and sweet."
no subject
[Rogue lets the pet name hang as a silent shift in tone, a softer chiding that hopefully lets him know she doesn't hate him, or whatever other rabbit holes his anxiety has taken him down.]
I know you don't, and I appreciate that you're trying to protect me.
Just warning me is helping. This way, I can warn the other mutants here.
[And even if Butcher had been at his strongest, Rogue's certain that the X-Men et al. could handle his bigoted ass. Ororo alone could zap him into a coma.
There's a pause as she digests his next statement. It twists at her heart.]
You have nightmares about me dying?
Because he's here now?
[If she could pull him into a hug right then, Rogue would. She knows what it's like to struggle with dark memories and fears made almost real.]
Good news is I've got plenty of experience with bigots and assholes. Been in the mind of a Nazi and didn't kill him when I had the chance. And that was right after he was all up in my mind puppeting me to beat my Wade to within an inch of his life.
I do try and do better. Not that Butcher deserves me at my better.
no subject
Okay. I just
Didn't want you or I guess anybody caught off guard by him
[Even with how impulsive Butcher is, he can be a damn good strategist as well as just manipulative. Sure, he doesn't quite have the means of launching a full-on assault here, but Hughie can't help feeling paranoid. That's probably bleeding into his responses judging by what she asks him.]
Well
I had them before he got here
It's fine I'm used to "people I love dying" nightmares at this point it's like a recurring stress dream thing. Like how people dream about their teeth falling out
[Probably not helping with the idea that it's fine, but Hughie knows that Rogue deals with a similar level of constant horror that he does. Possibly worse, given what she describes to him. Now he feels extra bad for even briefly questioning her self-restraint.]
Jesus
Don't think anybody would've blamed you if you had killed him but
I can understand why you wouldn't? I think
[Not that Hughie thinks it's possible to spare everyone, especially not back home, but chances to choose humanity can be just as rare as chances to do what needs to be done. Of course Rogue would take it.]
Honestly I'm kind of relieved Butcher doesn't remember all of that. He's less likely to fly off the handle without his bullshit plan to get back to
Even if I can't ask him what the fuck changed like this
no subject
[While she's witnessed Butcher's version of 'not being so terrible,' Rogue's also experienced the horrifically terrible through Hughie's perspective. He's not exactly shown much remorse or changed his spots, which is why they're both worried about how he might act in Duplicity.
There's so much to unpack here, and she's prepared to go through it all line per line. Except there's something that absolutely record scratches her brain and she stops typing and stares.]
People you love?
[She really shouldn't focus on that over everything else, but that particular word has weight to it, even used casually. Did he use it casually? Was it a mistaken slip of the tongue? He noted this happened before Butcher arrived too. Rogue does her best not to let herself spiral with everything, but it's a concerted effort.
Right. Time to recover?]
I have never had a dream about my teeth falling out. That sounds horrifying and weird as hell.
[The absolute smoothest there Rogue.]
I think he'd blame me, then if he came back right as rain, he'd have cause for retribution.
It'd also prove his assumptions about folks like me 'right'. That we're all rotten monsters needing to be put down like fucking dogs.
I'm sorry you ain't able to get closure because of that time difference.
Do you think he'd tell you the truth if he was from your time and you asked though?
[If they keep plowing forward on the trauma talk maybe they can bury that whole L-word comment?]
no subject
But definitely let your family know the weird old British guy probably who showed up has ulterior motives
[Hughie also, selfishly, doesn't want to risk the idea of someone less reasonable than Rogue, or god forbid, a fucking SIN Guard, taking the fight to Butcher. He's ashamed of it, but he can't stop himself from worrying about Butcher.
Speaking of feelings he's ashamed of: Fuck. He's fucking up in the completely opposite direction now. It'd be awful to deny it in any way, because he does consider her among the people he loves, the same as he does people from home.
Saying he loves her, however, comes with so much baggage that he doesn't have the right to put on her. Someone Hughie has a sordid, messy history with just showed up, and he doesn't want Rogue caught in the crosshairs of whatever happens between him and Butcher. Her partner from back home is here and Hughie doesn't imagine some other guy confessing his feelings would help matters. Moreover, Rogue doesn't need him clinging to her.
So he takes the coward's way out, and pretends that implication was never there.]
I really thought the teeth thing was like a stock dream. Is it not?
[Teeth and trauma can maybe bury this as long as possible. Strong maybe.]
I guess not letting him have the excuse is winning in some way.
Like. Yeah we have to do some rough shit for what's right but
I don't know if it's always worth losing ourselves to
[Like Butcher.]
I don't know. He was like scarily honest with me a few hours before he showed up in the warehouse and killed Victoria.
But he's also lied to me a lot. Sometimes to protect me but also just because he lies to people
I thought things changed and that he actually cared about me. Maybe he did
Maybe that just didn't matter
[Or Hughie hasn't changed either, and he's still the same idiot he was when he fell for it the first time.]
no subject
I never did much fancy the politics and PR part of being in the public eye, even with the Avengers. Unity Squad was set up to try and ease humans' worries about folks with powers.
I hated those press conferences. In case you haven't noticed, minding my mouth ain't my forte.
[For once, it's not intended as a double entendre. She might be making an effort to be beyond reasonable in this situation, but the urge to give into her baser desires on the matter looms always. It was a miracle that she didn't kill Red Skull when she had the chance.
Or, you know, growth.]
I ain't defenseless if he somehow catches me depowered, but I won't be invulnerable. And if he kills me, my Dominant might not have the sense or motivation to hold back.
[While she refers to him as her Dominant, she very much means her future husband. Rogue's certain that Hughie will understand, but she doesn't want to rub additional salt in any wound, particularly after the slip she's trying to not focus on right now.]
If Butcher starts something with the mutants, best know we will finish it in self defense.
That being said, if you find out he's trying to play chess and intentionally instigate a reactive war with 'supes', will you let me know?
[Rogue notices how he aggressively avoids her question, steamrolling past it to focus on the creepy teeth dreams. Which, first of all, ew. But beyond that, threading back to the terrifying emotional Pandora's box that Hughie accidentally cracked open, the fact that she even noted it in writing was... A lot for her. She's the queen of avoidance when it comes to feelings. Just ask Remy.
So, as much as part of her wants to circle back around for her own knowledge, that would likely require her speaking on the subject. She's not ready to do that with Remy, much less with Hughie. It's complicated for many reasons, and she doesn't have the energy to untangle that mess of Christmas lights today. Not when they're also talking about mutant genocide and horrifying teeth dreams.]
I've never had one like that, but there's a movie where the lead lady has a vagina with teeth. So, there's that.
[Consider that mental image the tax for dropping that l-word comment Hughie. Enjoy.]
Keeping my people safe is what I consider winning, and that includes you.
I know you won't want to tell me if he hurts you. You won't want me going after him. You know that it'll be messy if I intervene.
But honeybee... You need but ask and I'll be there for you.
Even if I lose a bit of myself. You're worth it.
[A bit is putting it lightly. But for reference, if it were Remy? She'd kill a motherfucker. No question about it, and that action far exceeds what 'a bit' translates to quantitatively in her text.]
Sounds like a man on a murder suicide mission. Confess it all not expecting to survive through for the consequences.
[There's a pause where she hesitates. She doesn't want to show Butcher any grace, but she was the villain once too. The empathy's impossible to shake entirely.]
Messy people do messy things. I used to be real messy, but in the end, I was the only one who could decide to change and be better.
You see the good in him and that's because you're good.
While I ain't the sort to say he's beyond redemption...
You can't keep hurting yourself to save a man that ain't looking to change for himself.
You deserve better than that.
no subject
[He may be biased given the Supe PR in his own world tried to serve him an NDA after he watched his girlfriend die horribly. Not that he needs to tell Rogue that. Hughie would hope he also doesn't need to tell her that he'd be just as livid if Butcher killed her.]
I wouldn't have much sense to either. Maybe not the strength to do anything about it but
I can guarantee that I won't be trying to hold anyone back if he hurts you
And you're the first person I'll tell if I think he's planning anything.
He still considers me one of his people at the time he's from. I can keep an eye on him.
[But he might as well anyway. Even if he can't admit he loves her.
Which for being a coward and willing to spy on his not-quite-yet-ex-friend, Hughie probably does at least deserve the psychic damage of imagining the vagina dentata movie. ]
Oh uh. Is it like a weird arthouse movie or a slasher where she goes on a killing spree of biting off dicks?
Either way ouch
[Okay, maybe he's already a little psychically damaged by default. How easily Rogue is able to read how he'd respond might be some proof of that. He'd already proven he was nervous about it from the beginning with how much evidence she has already for it. She's seen Butcher hit him. She's seen Butcher try to kill people with powers just like her, and succeed at it in some of the most horrible ways possible.
She's also seen Butcher save Hughie's life multiple times, and forfeit his chance at revenge to protect his stepson. The entirety of Hughie's relationship with Butcher is such a mess of conflicted feelings that he can't even say for sure now if he really does hate him.]
He must have known he was dying for at least half a year and never told me.
If I knew earlier, maybe
I don't know. I probably can't save him here or back home but
I've never wanted to be someone who left other people behind.
[His dad was right. Hughie's always had a hard time letting go.]
no subject
But yeah, you'd think that 'Nazis are bad' wouldn't be such a controversial statement in any universe, much less multiple of them.
[She's so glad that she grabbed the bottle of bourbon.
His comment about also not having the sense to restrain any efforts to see retribution if Butcher actually did hurt her (or worse, kill her) gives her pause. It's fucked up, and while she doesn't want Hughie's conscience to take any more burdens, especially because of her, she's ultimately touched by his admission. She knows how he feels about Butcher, how he wants to see the good in him above the terribleness. It adds even more weight to his promises.]
Good. On both counts.
Do me a favor if you see a glowing pink object -- probably a card -- zip past you? Hit the deck and cover your eyes because there will be an explosion.
I wouldn't want you to get hurt on accident.
No pun intended.
[It's a strange relief that he's willing to potentially betray Butcher, which is how she suspects he'd interpret it if he finds out. It could save lives, and not just mutant ones she expects.]
I just remember teeth in vagina and lots of non-period blood.
[Enjoy Hughie.
It's both a blessing and a curse, her mutation. She's able to directly experience events of someone's life from their perspective, an invasive skill even when she has consent, worse without it. Her empathy's made stronger because of it, and with that, she does not envy the position Hughie has found himself in with not just Butcher, but anyone close to him that has superhuman abilities.
At least her advice about revenge and second chances is hopefully worthwhile?]
Maybe. I wouldn't know for sure unless I touched him, which I ain't keen on doing.
Don't drive yourself crazy with what ifs. You've already got more than enough on your plate.
Like I said, don't give up entirely
Just
Be realistic and be mindful of your own mental health in a place hellbent on breaking us as much as possible.
Ask for help if you need it, okay? Please.
[She's just going to ignore that she should probably take her own advice more often.]