backwaterbelle | duplicity

Ain't no one that hits all their choices out of the park, so to speak. Sometimes we really muck things up.
Regardless of what you've done back home in your world, I'm glad I met you here. That you've let me get to know you as much as you have.

That's one way to put it. They stuck around longer then my actual parents though.

[Which is a real fucking weird story involving a hippy commune, magic, and a dream world. Then, there was her abusive aunt. Fun times all around.]

You mentioned that, yeah. They seem to be like night and day, relatively speaking. It's real unsettling for me too.

There's something else.
Somehow, in the future, I finally get control of my mutation. On my own.

As am I that I've gotten to know you. Even if our relationship may be vastly different in my own reality, and my own future.

I can say without reservation that I'm glad to have met my own version of Raven instead. She's one of the most extraordinary people I've ever met. [ Spoken even after she's shot him and threatened to stab his neck, so. You know he means it. ]

Really? Well, that is good, isn't it? If it is on your own terms.

It ain't a bad different. Just, different.

I've tried not to delve too much into the specifics of her with you. Both because it's painful and I get angry, but because I don't want to take away from your Raven. Though, I'd call my Mystique extraordinary too.

[There's no arguing that point, but there's a lot more to it with their history for Rogue.]

It'd be nice to know how, but there's hope for me. It's nice to know for certain that I ain't broken.

Suppose it remains to be seen, whether or not I have it in me to change my own future.

That's fair. I have no reason to want to know more about the version of her that you know, anyway. At least not for the time being.

[ It takes him a moment longer to answer the last message, but he is resolute when he does. ]

You are not broken. You never were in the first place.

You're one of the strongest folks I've met. Always coming out the other side of whatever's thrown at you stronger still. You show more restraint and mercy than folks give you credit for I think, all things considered. Though I still ain't keen on murdering, self-defense is something else.

I'll keep that in mind. The city likely won't hold to that boundary, though.

[And while she won't apologize for the city, it's worth letting him know that she will do her best to hold that boundary for him.]

It's a terrifying mutation to have, but it's such an integral part of me. I'd never willingly get rid of it. It's just, there's something keeping me from being able to control it, and consequently being my whole, authentic self. Previously, I'd thought only a telepath like Charles could give me that back, which I didn't want to do again. I want to do it myself.

Finding out that I can do learn control on my own terms is life changing. It's hope I'd lost faith in ever having for myself.

In all fairness, I don't always show restraint, and mercy has often been a distant concept to me. I don't fault anyone for not putting faith when I claim I want to do better.

There is nothing wrong in seeking help when you need it, but I understand your point of view. This is your situation to learn, and your power to control. Were I in your position, I too would want to do it on my own terms.

But control is a learned skill, it doesn't make you broken just because you haven't mastered it yet.

duplicity | ic inbox

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